Follow-Up: But What I *Really* Wanted to Say...

Yesterday's post about gifts wasn't really at the crux of it, but it's the stuff I needed to think about in order to get to the crux. Two things:

1. Most everyone loves giving the right gift to someone. The whole process is very satisfying---the inspiration of the idea, choosing the gift, anticipating the person's reaction, watching him or her receive it. I have had these experiences and they are wonderful. And only the most curmudgeonly person would say that we should forgo that experience to remain somehow pure in this overconsumptive, acquisitive world we live in.

But what do you do when you don't have the right gift? That's really the heart of the matter. Do you just buy whatever? Do you get a gift card? Do you write a beautiful letter? Do you make a thoughtful donation in the person's honor? That place---when inspiration doesn't come---is when the calculations start to figure in---dollar amounts and expectations and appearances. And that to me is the place of discernment, the interesting spiritual place of self-awareness.

2. Evidence suggests that experiences make us happier than stuff does. Spending money on the trip of a lifetime brings more satisfaction than an extravagant purchase, because our estimation of the value of the experience goes up over time while our assessment of the worth of the object goes down.

There are many reasons for this, but I have to think that gifts we receive have a similar effect over time as do purchases we make ourselves. Would you agree? And if so, how does that impact what kind of gifts we give? I certainly want to give people things that will have the most impact.