Are Religious Children Less Generous Than Non-Religious Ones?

2394859566_71a94927f5 Last week The Guardian published the results of a study that claims to demonstrate just that:

Almost 1,200 children, aged between five and 12, in the US, Canada, China, Jordan, Turkey and South Africa participated in the study. Almost 24% were Christian, 43% Muslim, and 27.6% non-religious. The numbers of Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, agnostic and other children were too small to be statistically valid.

They were asked to choose stickers and then told there were not enough to go round for all children in their school, to see if they would share. They were also shown film of children pushing and bumping one another to gauge their responses.

The findings “robustly demonstrate that children from households identifying as either of the two major world religions (Christianity and Islam) were less altruistic than children from non-religious households”.

Older children, usually those with a longer exposure to religion, “exhibit[ed] the greatest negative relations”.

Someone asked me a few days what I thought about the study. I said, "Non-religious people get to feel superior and vindicated in their choices, conservative evangelicals can complain about the liberal media, and progressive religious types can geek out by wondering about sample size and methodology. Something for everyone."  I can't speak to the quality of the research, though I'm told it's a peer reviewed study, which counts for something. On the other hand, Robert tells me that half of all psychological studies are unreplicatable, so...

But assuming this study is accurate, what would account for a lack of generosity in religious children? Not sure. For the record, I don't think you need to have a religious tradition or belief in God to be a moral person. And at the same time, there is a strain of judgmentalism in some expressions of Christianity, and apparently Islam too, since that was also mentioned in the study.

But I do have one small hypothesis.

For the past several months, our family has been between churches. Since I finished my tenure at Tiny Church, we haven't found a church to call home. I may preach in 2-3 congregations a month, but many of these are in other cities, so the kids don't come with me.

During these months without a church, I've been keenly aware that it's my job and Robert's job--and pretty much ours alone--to teach generosity and kindness as spiritual practices. I say "as spiritual practices" because to some extent they also learn these attributes at school, during team sports and in other activities. But there's usually no deeper meaning underlying them--it's just the way you treat people.

Anyway, if this is our job and ours alone, we will want to approach it with great intentionality and care. Whereas parents who are religious may be relying on their faith communities to do a lot of this work. I used to hear this often from parents when I was a pastor--they rarely felt equipped to pass on the tenets of their faith to their children, and really hoped the church would do it instead.

Yet we know from study after study that parents are their children's most important teachers. Which means that if parents are relying on faith communities to do this work, then the work isn't getting done nearly as effectively.

What do you make of the study?

~

Subscribe to The Blue Room email newsletter: What’s inspiring me and/or kicking my butt. (Usually both.) Updates sent 1-2 times a month.

~

photo credit: lone kid (6 of 8) via photopin (license)

The Upper Room Gets Splashed with Color

I've written several posts about the Upper Room, the kid-friendly space in our sanctuary balcony where school-age children go during the worship service. There they take part in quiet crafts, books, and other activities, all the while listening and participating in the worship service in their own way. It's always gratifying to hear about a child asking her parent about something she heard while puttering around the Upper Room. Children listen.  You can read about some of our new challenges and growing pains here. It's all good and natural stuff as we seek to be hospitable to our young friends upstairs in the balcony and our young-at-heart friends downstairs in the pews.

But I wanted to share a BIG cause of joy---the Upper Room is getting a mural! One of our folks has contacted an artist, Kate Cosgrove, who generously and graciously allowed us to use her work to adorn our walls. Nancy, the mother of two of your little ones, did the outlining based on Kate's work, and the kids are filling in the color.

The idea is that the children would work at various times before and after worship, but last Sunday there was so much joy and momentum that, well, they kept going during church itself. Yes, things got a bit boisterous. But the photos of this masterpiece-in-progress speak for themselves:

Upper Room 5 Upper Room 4 Upper Room Upper Room 2 Upper Room

 

Philomena, The Church, and Our Problems with S-E-X

slide5 This year I'm trying to see as many of the big Oscar nominees as possible. Last Friday I checked off my first film: Philomena, which is about an Irish woman's search for her son, who was adopted by American parents some 50 years before. Philomena was one of the Magdalene girls, unwed mothers who were essentially incarcerated in various Catholic institutions and forced into unpaid labor as payment for their shameful mistakes.

It's an excellent movie, though devastating to watch. It brings up any number of issues related to faith. Here are a couple:

The importance of forgiveness. I wished for a more nuanced portrayal of the topic, however. Near the end of the movie, there's a scene in which a roomful of religious people practically cluck in disdain at the character of Martin Sixsmith (the journalist who's been helping Philomena), who is livid at the injustice and secrecy that has persisted for decades. The implication in their response (including Philomena's) is that he needs to let go of his anger and forgive because such negative feelings serve no purpose.

Forgiveness is indeed a gift of grace. And simmering resentments can corrode our lives. But Martin's anger in that moment was appropriate. Given the magnitude of the injustice, it was more than that. It was righteous.

I'd wager that any anger the real Martin felt provided motivation for the writing of the book, which after all, served to bring this important story to light. Anger, properly harnessed, is a powerful fuel, and it bothers me when religious people are portrayed in such a milquetoast manner in popular culture.

But pop culture didn't invent that image out of whole cloth. The Church, if I may be so monolithic, has offered plenty of inspiration for such a portrayal.

But it's not just the anger and forgiveness thing...

Issues of the body and sexuality. We are still so primitive when it comes to talking about sex and our bodies. The young Philomena is doubly disadvantaged: she was not taught enough basic anatomy to understand how to prevent pregnancy. But she wasn't taught anything about her body and its own pleasures, either---she admits with some chagrin that she enjoyed her "sin," and exclaims to Martin Sixsmith, I never even knew what a clitoris was!

We in the Church are still dealing with the aftermath of that old Greek dualism in which the Apostle Paul and other New Testament writers were steeped: spirit good, body bad. But as Martin's character asks Philomena, what kind of God would create us with these natural sexual urges and then saddle us with such screwed-up, shame-filled religious baggage at the same time? How can something that feels so good be so very very bad? (Secular culture is not much better. Yes, the contours are different. But body image issues, self-punishment to fit an unattainable ideal, the rise of cosmetic surgery in the age of Photoshop---it's not like the Church is a lone dysfunctional voice.)

We can rejoice that the Magdalene laundries are a memory (though not a distant enough one; the last one closed in the '90s). But it's still hard for us to talk about the body in a mature and meaningful way. The spiritual resources are there; we just have to embrace them.

Last week I wrote an endorsement for a book of spiritual practices for families. It's a wonderful resource, full of ideas for parents to bring their faith into everyday life, whether it's offering blessings at bedtime or welcoming a new pet to the family. It was one of the easiest endorsements I've written, and you'll be hearing more from me about the book when it's released.

But as I reflected on the legacy of Philomena, I realized with a start that there's nothing in the book about children's physical and sexual development. And I'm not saying this to knock the book at all---I myself didn't see a thing missing until the movie prompted me to think about these things.

An obvious one: there must be a way for families (or at least mothers) to mark the occasion of a girl's first period from a spiritual/faith perspective. My eldest daughter is excited because I've promised to take her to Spa World to celebrate this milestone. But there must be more that could be said or done. I'm not talking about a big show or an embarrassing display. I'm talking about some language celebrating God's good gift of creation and the beauty of our bodies, fearfully and wonderfully made.

How about a teen's first date? Or a first breakup? Surely the Christian tradition can offer more than a pint of Ben and Jerry's...

What about a young person's coming out?

And the real kicker. According to Wikipedia, the average age for a young person to have sex for the first time is 17. That means they're living under our roofs when it happens. How do we respond to this from a faith perspective?

Can I envision what a faith-filled ritual would look like between parent and young person after she loses her virginity? No, I really can't. Does such a thing sound easy? Do we need to consider the young person's privacy and autonomy? No and yes. But that's all the more reason for the church to be a resource for parents. Don't we want the kind of relationships with our children such that they could share news of that milestone with us? If so, then we should be ready, with the best our tradition can offer them. (See Tami Taylor's conversations with Julie on Friday Night Lights---some great stuff to build on there. So simple and authentic.)

I'm not talking about a lecture on abstinence. Parents should communicate their own values, though lectures aren't terribly effective in my experience. I'm also not talking about the contraception/condoms discussion, though such a conversation is essential; it's borderline parental malpractice not to have it.

No, I'm talking about making it clear to our kids that their sexual lives are not divorced from their faith, but an essential part of it. I'm talking about repairing the body/spirit duality such that our lives are one integrated whole.

Does a resource containing such rituals exist? If so, I hope my readers will alert me. If not, maybe my friend will write a sequel.

~

Hey, I'd love for you to join my email list for further inspiration and content. And if you haven't already checked out Sabbath in the Suburbs, the price has dropped on Amazon! And of course it's available from Chalice Press, my publisher.

Image: The Dench and Steve Coogan in a still from the movie. If you're interested in discerning fact from dramatic license in the film, here's a place to start.

Dispatches from the Tiny Church Upper Room

  The Spirit descended from heaven like a dove... or from the balcony like a piece of paper.

I wrote several months ago that Tiny Church has done away with Sunday School as we know it. Many of you were interested in our Upper Room ministry, so much so that the post went viral... as much as a post about churchy stuff can go viral.

So how's it been going? I wanted to check in about this, since I know others (especially those in small congregations) are considering alternatives to Sunday School. As we think about "what's next" in our churches, we need to share not only the ideas, but the successes and failures of those ideas, and they ways they get tweaked. Tangent: check out the Paracletos Project through NEXT Church, in which two congregations engaged in revitalization will work with a coach and share their learnings.

Well, it's been mixed. Regarding the Upper Room: We are very fortunate to have a member of the church who's offered to come up with a simple craft option most Sundays, but coordinating that is a challenge---ideally the activity would tie in to the sermon or theme for worship. And it also has to be as silent as possible! (Check out my Upper Room Pinterest board.)

The Upper Room is also a victim of its own success: a few Sundays ago we had 11 children up there. Wow! How wonderful... but that's really too many with only one adult, especially considering that some of them are on the young side. We need a backup adult there too.

We also have a few new extroverts in the mix. What to do with them? We're trying to educate parents and kids that this is not communal time---that children are there to listen to the Spirit through the worship and through "their own work"---but it's not easy.

My original post also mentioned a few other ideas. We're trying to figure out how to equip parents as faith educators. I've been previewing the Vibrant Faith materials; I get the weekly email and wonder whether it would be something we could share with families. I absolutely love the stuff at the Practicing Families website.

My time with the children during Sunday worship has been more thematic. In September I was guiding the kids through the different parts of the sanctuary and what they mean. Next I think I will try a stewardship theme (including stewardship of creation and the body), then it's time for Advent and Christmas.

In our meeting with the parents last spring, we talked about having "pullouts" from time to time. Instead of Sunday School every week, which has been hard for a church our size to sustain, we're looking at, say, four to six weeks in the fall and again in the spring for a specific purpose. Our choir director has offered to prepare a choir piece with any children who are interested. I'd like to give that a look in November and/or early December, so the kids can present something in worship during Advent. This also gives children a break from the Upper Room, which keeps it from getting stale.

We're still feeling our way. The day we had 11 kids in the Upper Room was a little rowdy. As I preached I would would hear these random sounds and shushes from up there and think, Maybe this is a crazy idea. 

I wondered again during the sharing of joys and concerns, when one of our folks who works at the Navy Yard was sharing a prayer request about that situation. As he spoke I saw one of the younger children come to the balcony rail and drop a piece of paper over the side. I watched as it fluttered down and landed directly behind the man, in the lap of a quiet older woman whose husband we'd just buried a few weeks before. The horror.

I'm sure my facial expressions were a complete non-sequitur to this poor guy, who had no clue what kind of "death from above" antics were going on behind him. I braced myself for a backlash after worship along the lines of kids today need to learn how to behave.

Instead, later in the service the woman raised her hand, held up the paper and said, "I just have to tell you all. This landed in my lap a moment ago. It's a picture of Jonah and the whale, and here's what that means to me today." She concluded, "'A child shall lead them' after all!"

Well I'll be. I guess that's right.

~

photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc

Jesus Gets Around!

Remember this map at Tiny Church? photo

We're continuing our journey around the world through our running, walking, biking and swimming. We have been plotting our course to Democratic Republic of Congo, where we will hear from a woman in our church who works for USAID. She will talk about her work and a ministry she interfaces with in the DRC. The service will have a special focus on that region of the world.

In addition, on Sunday we're innovating and imitating an idea from the First Presbyterian Church of Jesup:

Jesus is on the move!

You may know Flat Stanley, the guy from the children's books who shows up all over the world as people take pictures of him in various locales.

Well, First Presbyterian---and Tiny Church---are adapting this practice as Flat Jesus:

1006115_535465043155949_1125163772_n

This Sunday in the Upper Room we will have the kids decorate this image, printed on a bunch of cardstock. Following the service we will hand him out and encourage people to photograph him on their vacations and business trips. These photos will go up on our map.

Why? Because it's fun. Because it's summer and people are traveling.

And because God is everywhere.

 

What Happens in the Upper Room: A Case in Point

A short follow-up to yesterday's post about bidding farewell to children's Sunday School at Tiny Church, in favor of the Upper Room and other activities. For several weeks in late April/early May we adapted the "ribbon ritual" that took place at the NEXT Conference in Charlotte in March. At Tiny Church, the ritual built over a series of weeks and ended on Pentecost. The previous week, people had written their names on ribbons with different prayer words they selected. Then on Pentecost, we handed out the ribbons and folks were invited to take those home and pray for that person over the coming weeks.

We had the children hand out the ribbons before going to the Upper Room. One of the children spent the rest of the service creating a sort of "cocoon" in which to put the prayer ribbon she received. This was not an assignment. This was her own initiative, using nothing but paper and tape.

photo

 

I especially love the lid that tapes shut for safekeeping. And of course, the heart.

Children do listen, process and respond.

~

Speaking of heart, I am off this afternoon to one of my heart places, Mo-Ranch in the Texas Hill Country, where I will lead the good folks of St. Philip Presbyterian Church in a Sabbath retreat. My piece is minimal: a few presentations and a sermon on Sunday. The real Sabbath comes from walks under the grape arbor and across the catwalk, BBQ by the river, and long hours in God's hot tub, the rapids of the Guadalupe River.

St. Philip is where Robert and I married almost 19 years ago, where I first felt called to ministry, and where I was ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament 10 years ago. It will be lovely to go home to those great folks, many of whom I remember, some of whom are friends I haven't met yet.

On Letting Go of Sunday School

The Sunday School movement began in the 1780s to provide education to children working in factories---children who were not receiving any other formal education. Teachers shared lessons on Christian religion, but also things like reading, sports, and drama. Today, more and more people are asking whether Sunday School is nearing the end of its life cycle, particularly in certain congregations and contexts. Tiny Church's practice in recent years has been to have Sunday School class during the worship hour, following the children's time. For a small congregation, we have a good number of school-age children---this fall there will be nine, plus about seven middle and high schoolers and a handful of nursery-age.

That's if they're all there.

But they're never all there... which is one of the problems with relying on Sunday School as a child's primary Christian formation. "Regular church attendance" is different than it was even 5 years ago. Now, a couple times a month is considered regular. Around here, folks generally aren't slacking off and sleeping in. They're attending Girls on the Run, taking a weekend trip out of town, volunteering at the Kennedy Center, or helping a friend move. That means the adults who would teach weekly Sunday School are also out a lot, in addition to the kids.

Several of us at Tiny met this past Sunday to talk about Christian education in our congregation, and decided to see all of this as a creative challenge rather than a problem. We have the opportunity to think about Christian formation more holistically, rather than shuttling kids off to a separate room and trusting that they'll get everything they need there.

Starting this summer, Tiny Church will no longer have Sunday School.

Instead, we will continue work in our Upper Room, which is the kid-friendly worship space in our balcony. School-age children go up after the children's time and spend the rest of the service there. An adult leads them up and, before they go in, encourages them to "get ready to continue worshiping" by calming and centering, removing their shoes, and so forth.

There are always kinks to work out, but I'm happy to say that the Upper Room is working as well as I could have dreamed. Kids are able to wander, browse a children's Bible or picture book in one of the comfy chairs, draw or do a simple craft at the table, use the Buddha Board, or mess around with the wooden Noah's Ark or nativity set. And yet... they're listening. They'll walk over to the railing, peek over and watch what's going on. I was preaching about Pope Francis's recent remarks and a six year old walked up to Robert and whispered, "What's an atheist?" I love it.

That said, we also see the value in building intentional relationships between adults and children (which is one of the primary benefits of Sunday School), so we're thinking about planning a multi-week project maybe once a semester. At these times, children would have a "pull-out" during worship, perhaps to make a video about a Bible story, plan a puppet show, or prepare an anthem as an ad hoc children's choir. But---and here's the key---those activities would always connect to the life of the whole worshiping community. The video would be shown in worship, etc.

We also know we need to help equip parents. Like it or not, we are our children's primary faith educators. I've heard of a church that sends home a packet each month with stories, activities, questions to discuss together, rituals, etc. I love this "homeschooling" approach. Sometimes (when I have time and inspiration) I will put together a GPS guide (Grow Pray Study) in the bulletin that helps people think further about the scripture and sermon, and I try to include something for families. That might be something we do more regularly.

We are also still considering how youth fit into this mix. We can see them as co-leaders of the special  pullout activities. And we're considering some mentoring, as well as partnering with another congregation for a mission trip.

Have you moved beyond Sunday School where you are? Would love to hear what you're up to.

Friday Link Love: Doubt, Virginia Woolf, and a Real-Life Lord of the Flies

A couple of quick me-links: Last minute, preachers, I'm at The Hardest Question this week with pieces on the gospel and Acts.

I also did a webinar on Sabbath for the Presbyterian Outlook this week. I covered some stuff that's in the book but a lot that's not, including how to get congregations thinking about and practicing Sabbath. You can order a DVD here.

Enough about me. Here we go!

~

The Politics of Play -- Orion

A plea for a little more free-range parenting:

Some schools forbid children to play in the snow for fear of legal action in the event of an accident. We live in a litigious age, but this is about far more than that: it is about the kind of children we are creating.

By insidiously demanding that children always seek permission for the most trivial of actions, that they must obey the commands of others at every turn, we ensure that children today are not so much beaten into obedience as eroded into it. A risk-averse society creates a docility and loss of autonomy that has a horrible political shadow: a populace malleable, commandable, and blindly obedient.

The author also talks about a real-life Lord of the Flies incident... that didn't end like Lord of the Flies:

One day, in 1977, six boys set out from Tonga on a fishing trip. They left safe harbor, and fate befell them. Badly. Caught in a huge storm, the boys were shipwrecked on a deserted island. What do they do, this little tribe?

They made a pact never to quarrel, because they could see that arguing could lead to mutually assured destruction. They promised each other that wherever they went on the island, they would go in twos, in case they got lost or had an accident. They agreed to have a rotation of being on guard, night and day, to watch out for anything that might harm them or anything that might help. And they kept their promises—for a day that became a week, a month, a year. After fifteen months, two boys, on watch as they had agreed, saw a speck of a boat on the horizon. The boys were found and rescued, all of them, grace intact and promises held.

If anyone knows more about this story, please let me know. I would love to read more. Google didn't turn up much.

~

Principal Fires Security Guards to Hire Art Teachers--and Transforms Elementary School -- NBC

Thanks to Marci Glass, who said, "This is what it means to live the future you envision." Yes:

In a school notorious for its lack of discipline, where backpacks were prohibited for fear the students would use them to carry weapons, Bott’s bold decision to replace the security guards with art teachers was met with skepticism by those who also questioned why he would choose to lead the troubled school.

“A lot of my colleagues really questioned the decision,” he said. “A lot of people actually would say to me, ‘You realize that Orchard Gardens is a career killer? You know, you don't want to go to Orchard Gardens.’”

But now, three years later, the school is almost unrecognizable. Brightly colored paintings, essays of achievement, and motivational posters line the halls. The dance studio has been resurrected, along with the band room, and an artists’ studio.

Swords into ploughshares.

~

How Not to Die -- Atlantic

My friend Shala linked to this article on her Caterpickles blog. Not a happy topic, but an important one.

Dr. Angelo Volandes is making a film that he believes will change the way you die. The studio is his living room in Newton, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston; the control panel is his laptop; the camera crew is a 24-year-old guy named Jake; the star is his wife, Aretha Delight Davis. Volandes, a thickening mesomorph with straight brown hair that is graying at his temples, is wearing a T-shirt and shorts and looks like he belongs at a football game. Davis, a beautiful woman of Guyanese extraction with richly braided hair, is dressed in a white lab coat over a black shirt and stands before a plain gray backdrop.

“Remember: always slow,” Volandes says.

“Sure, hon,” Davis says, annoyed. She has done this many times.

Volandes claps to sync the sound. “Take one: Goals of Care, Dementia.”

As a pastor I would love to get my hands on the video series Dr. Volandes is creating.

~

A Prayer for Children of All Ages -- Ashley-Anne Masters

Mother's Day is coming up, and then Father's Day. Both of these days can be very hard for folks; Ashley-Anne offers a prayer for use in worship:

God our perfect parent, we pray:

For those who will send flowers to their mom and those who will put flowers on their mom’s grave

For those who wish their children could have met their grandparents and those who will tell their parents that they will soon be grandparents

For those who will make new memories and those who will carry on old traditions

For sons named after their fathers and for those who don’t know their father’s name . . .

More at the link.

~

On Craftsmanship: The Only Surviving Recording of Virginia Woolf's Voice -- Brain Pickings

True confession: I didn't listen to the whole thing. But it's very moving to hear her voice.

~

Speaking of writing:

A Backwards Pitch -- Ruth Everhart

I highlighted Ruth's book, Chasing the Divine in the Holy Land, a few weeks ago on Link Love; I like how she puts into practice Seth Godin's advice to "say it backwards":

 My book about pilgrimage is not for everyone.

~ If you venerate icons you may find this book to be irreverent, even off-putting.

~

And a few things I posted on social media earlier this week, but they bear repeating:

9 Questions to Ask about Social Media -- 99U

  • Is it necessary to share this? Will it add value to my life and for other people?
  • Can I share this experience later so I can focus on living it now?
  • Am I looking for validation? Is there something I could do to validate myself?

~

The Pain When Children Fly the Nest -- Adam Gopnik, the Guardian

I'll read just about any topic, so long as Gopnik writes it. And we are years away from kids leaving the nest, but this still spoke to me.

I suspect he will return one Christmas soon with an icy, exquisite, intelligent young woman in black clothes, with a single odd piercing somewhere elegant - ear or nose or lip - who will, when I am almost out of earshot, issue a gentle warning: "Listen, with the wedding toasts - could you make sure your father doesn't get, you know, all boozy and damp and weepy?" My son will nod at the warning.

~

And this one was posted to the church's Facebook page:

To Doubt Is Christian -- The Dish

The Dish quotes Christopher Hutton:

Doubt is a thing which many Christians see as opposing their faith. Many have fought it and its prevalence in the modern minds of man. 19th century pastor Robert Turnbull once  stated that “Doubt, indeed, is the disease of this inquisitive, restless age.” Many people react negatively towards any feelings of doubt that they may have, fearing that this doubt means that they aren’t fully committed to God.

However, this fear of doubt is dreadfully dangerous. Not every man who doubts his faith loses it. And if they look at most human lives, they’ll find that if one doesn’t doubt, then one isn’t human. It is a necessary idea for any believer, for it acts as the catalyst and tool for a man or woman to grow.

Then a quote from Tim Keller:

A faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it. People who blithely go through life too busy or indifferent to ask hard questions about why they believe as they do will find themselves defenseless against either the experience of tragedy or the probing questions of a smart skeptic. A person’s faith can collapse almost overnight if she has failed over the years to listen to her own doubts, which should only be discarded after long reflection. Believers should acknowledge and wrestle with doubts—not only their own but their friends’ and neighbors’.

Would be interesting to have a church group study on doubt.

~

And finally... there's this!

rundisney 2013 2013 Walt Disney World Marathon Female Winner Renee High_0

M-I-C... see you in January!

K-E-Y... why? Because I'm running the Disney Marathon!

I'm sure there will be much weeping and consternation on this blog over the next several months, but for now... yeah. Inhale. Exhale.

~

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Friday Link Love: Roger Ebert, Louis CK, and Radical Generosity

Happy Friday, everyone. What do you have planned this weekend? May you find a little space for things that are bubbly and fun, nourishing and vital. We will be celebrating the 90th birthday of Robert's grandmother. Joy! Here are a few items that grabbed me this week:

~

RIP Roger Ebert: The Beloved Critic on Writing, Life, and Mortality -- Brain Pickings

I loved his writing and will miss his wisdom:

My colleague late at night, a year or two older, was Bill Lyon, who covered Champaign High School sports and became a columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer. … Bill and I would labor deep into the night on Fridays, composing our portraits of the [football] games. I was a subscriber to the Great Lead Theory, which teaches that a story must have an opening paragraph so powerful as to leave few readers still standing. … Lyon watched as I ripped one sheet of copy paper after another out of my typewriter and finally gave me the most useful advice I have ever received as a writer: ‘One, don’t wait for inspiration, just start the damn thing. Two, once you begin, keep on until the end. How do you know how the story should begin until you find out where it’s going?’ These rules saved me half a career’s worth of time and gained me a reputation as the fastest writer in town. I’m not faster. I spend less time not writing.

More at the link, including excerpts from his memoir and his TED talk.

~

Human-Tower Competition in Tarragona, Spain -- Colossal

The things we human beings come up with! Amazing pictures of a swarm of humanity working together:

007_DAVID-OLIETE_Concurs-de-Castells_Colossal

~

Kevin Ware on Louisville Teammate That 'Touched My Heart' -- USA Today

H/t to my friend LeAnn Hodges. I didn't see the Louisville/Duke game, but yikes. Yet horrific events can bring out the best in people:

[Ware's teammate] Hancock thought back to last summer, when he suffered a gruesome shoulder injury in a pickup game. He remembered how others were aghast. He remembered how former Louisville guard Andre McGee was the only one to rush to his side, to rush him to the hospital. He remembered how much that had meant.

So as Ware lay there in the first half of the Cardinals' NCAA tournament victory over Duke on Sunday, scared and alone and stunned, Hancock ran to him. He held Ware's hand and told him they would get through this together. He told Ware he would say a prayer for him.

Ware didn't respond at first, because he was in shock. Hancock took a deep breath, closed his eyes, clenched Ware's hand and started the prayer.

...You can't fault the other players for their initial reaction to such a macabre moment. But you can praise Hancock, and you should.

We are wounded healers, all.

~

After God: What Can Atheists Learn from Believers? -- New Statesman

I especially like the responses from Karen Armstrong and Alain de Botton (not too surprisingly---he's a Blue Room mainstay). Here's de Botton:

For centuries in the west, there was a figure in society who fulfilled a function that is likely to sound very odd to secular ears. The priest didn’t fulfil any material need; he was there to take care of that part of you called, rather unusually, “the soul”, by which we would understand the seat of our emotions and of our deep self.

Where have our soul-related needs gone? What are we doing with the material we used to go to a priest for? The deep self has naturally not given up its complexities and vulnerabilities simply because some scientific inaccuracies have been found in the tales of the five loaves and two fishes.

The loaves and fishes story is a tale that resonates beyond matters of science, but I take his point.

~

Louis CK on David Letterman -- YouTube

Two of my favorite funny men:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtwD48v0Cyo&feature=youtu.be

~

The Touch-Screen Generation -- The Atlantic

Young children—even toddlers—are spending more and more time with digital technology. What will it mean for their development?

Long but excellent rumination on parents' ambivalence about their kids' use of technology:

By their pinched reactions [to questions about how much screen time their kids have], these parents illuminated for me the neurosis of our age: as technology becomes ubiquitous in our lives, American parents are becoming more, not less, wary of what it might be doing to their children. Technological competence and sophistication have not, for parents, translated into comfort and ease. They have merely created yet another sphere that parents feel they have to navigate in exactly the right way. On the one hand, parents want their children to swim expertly in the digital stream that they will have to navigate all their lives; on the other hand, they fear that too much digital media, too early, will sink them. Parents end up treating tablets like precision surgical instruments, gadgets that might perform miracles for their child’s IQ and help him win some nifty robotics competition—but only if they are used just so. Otherwise, their child could end up one of those sad, pale creatures who can’t make eye contact and has an avatar for a girlfriend.

And on the other end of the spectrum of childhood... college students:

~

Addiction to Electronics Growing -- Times-Delphic

“I occasionally see students using their phones during yoga or pilates, which makes me a bit sad,” Determann said. “If you can’t be unplugged for 45 or 60 minutes, that’s a bit concerning, in my opinion. I know that this has just become the way we, as a society operate, but the world will go on without you checking your notifications.”

~

A Religious Wake-Up Call in the Matter of Drones -- Alternet

A critique against drones from a Christian perspective:

Our use of drones is only defensible on "Just War Theory" grounds, if we are able to demonstrate an immediate threat to this country that is specific and specifically premeditated with a specific objective. Unfortunately, the current administration, with its complex entanglements of secrecy and formal denials, has not been able to explain or demonstrate an immediate threat.

Our use of drones are out of "proportion" because it uses the most advanced technology in the world to assassinate people who can basically only throw the equivalent of sticks and stones back at you. Moreover, it gives these people no chance to surrender. It is like capital punishment without an arrest, a charge, a trial, or a right of appeal.

Our use of drones is not humane, because it totally objectifies the enemy by making them into a picture on a screen. There is not the faintest possibility, in the conduct of drone warfare by means of remote control, that you can regard the enemy as a fellow human citizen of the planet.

~

Is Giving the Secret to Getting Ahead? -- NYT

Longish article about a new book, Give and Take, and its author, professor Adam Grant who, and I say this in a nice way, sounds like a freak. You might describe him as... radically generous with his time---he answers every email request for help, he spends hours mentoring students, etc. But all of this giving comes back to him in very interesting, even powerful, ways. "The greatest untapped source of motivation, he argues, is a sense of service to others; focusing on the contribution of our work to other peoples’ lives has the potential to make us more productive than thinking about helping ourselves."

“Give and Take” incorporates scores of studies and personal case histories that suggest the benefits of an attitude of extreme giving at work. Many of the examples — the selfless C.E.O.’s, the consultants who mentor ceaselessly — are inspiring and humbling, even if they are a bit intimidating in their natural expansiveness. These generous professionals look at the world the way Grant does: an in-box filled with requests is not a task to be dispensed with perfunctorily (or worse, avoided); it’s an opportunity to help people, and therefore it’s an opportunity to feel good about yourself and your work. “I never get much done when I frame the 300 e-mails as ‘answering e-mails,’ ” Grant told me. “I have to look at it as, How is this task going to benefit the recipient?” Where other people see hassle, he sees bargains, a little work for a lot of gain, including his own.

There's something wonderful about seeing the world in this way rather than the calculating tit-for-tat manner we are often trained to employ with one another. But I spent most of the article assuming he must be single, because what family could put up with someone who lives this way? Turns out he has a wife who stays home to take care of the kids. Which hey, more power to them. But it does color things somewhat, eh?

At any rate, I'm interested in the research on this topic. It seems like Grant's outlook requires you to see time as an abundant resource, which I don't. As I write in the book, I'm much more comfortable with the idea of holy scarcity. There isn't enough time for everything we want or need to do. So how do we move as creatively through our days as possible?

Speaking of which... may you shimmy and tango through your weekend and all of its work, play, errands, and maybe, a few surprises. Peace.