Ten Ways to Make New Year's Resolutions Stick

6643498911_c37d05483e_bThis is an annual post, with a new bit at the end! Resolutions get a bad rap. There’s a lot of guilt in play, as people feel like they should make them. Other people make them and quickly break them: more guilt. Still other folks genuinely want to follow through but don’t know how.

As for me, I love setting a direction for the upcoming year. (I created a whole workbook-playbook for this purpose, called "Still Possible"! If you subscribe to my email newsletter you should have received it. It's available to new subscribers too; click here.)

If you want to make some New Year’s goals stick, here are some tips that have worked for me and other people I know:

  1. Set an intention instead. Resolutions have always felt too brittle for me. (After all, when we don’t follow through, we say we broke them.) Intentions are more flexible. Listen to the difference between “I resolve” and “I set the intent.” The former feels like one of Harry Potter’s Unbreakable Vows; the latter points you in a worthwhile direction. Maybe you need the force of the former, but I like the latter because it can bend as our lives shift. And we can set intentions again and again. There’s a reason people in 12 step programs take things one day at a time.
  2. Make it a story. Most resolutions are vague goals that lack context. Donald Miller suggests we come up with stories instead. Stories are compelling, and they take us somewhere. According to Miller’s definition, a story involves a character who wants something and overcomes obstacles to get it. What could be a better framework for a New Year’s improvement project? “Lose weight” is a worthy goal, but without a concrete story to hang it on, it’s too easy to give up. So instead of getting in shape, a story-based resolution might be to complete a road race or do a big hike with friends.
  3. Explore the 5 W’s. In ninth grade journalism class I learned the basics of a news story: Who, What, When, Where, and Why. (Also How.) If you want your resolutions to stick, you need to spend some time with these questions. Say you want to cook at home more instead of eating out. Who will support you in this effort, and whom will be impacted by this lifestyle change? What will you do to make this happen? When will you plan, shop and cook? Where will this happen—do you need to de-clutter the kitchen? Stock the pantry? And most importantly, Why is it important that you do this?
  4. Take things monthly. Gretchen Rubin is a pioneer of this approach. Her book The Happiness Project chronicles a year-long self-improvement project with a different emphasis each month (money, home, family, etc.). Why not pick something modest to work on in January? Then on January 31 you get to celebrate your success (or shrug off your failure) and move on to something new in February.
  5. Pick a word. Many of my pastor friends hand out stars with words on them to their congregations on Epiphany Sunday—I’ve done it myself. These words become a prayer or meditation focus. For folks who find self-reflection tedious, there’s something serendipitous about being given a word to live with for a whole year.
  6. Let the resolution grow out of a deeper reflection. Ideally, a resolution, intention, or story will grow out of a period of reflecting on the year to come. In other words, don’t go for the same knee-jerk resolution you pick every year—it may not fit your life right now. If you’re about to move across country or get a promotion at work, it’s probably not the right time to take on a new hobby or join that CrossFit class. Or because of those changes, it may be the perfect time to take care of yourself. But the point is, your resolution needs to grow out of a realistic assessment of the year to come. I’ll be using the workbook I created to say goodbye to 2016 and hello to 2017 (see above or subscribe here), but there are tons of tools like this on the Internet.
  7. Build in some No with your Yes. I’m convinced that a lot of resolutions fail because people add on habits or practices without taking other things away. So you want to spend 20 minutes each morning in prayer or meditation. OK… but what are you willing to give up in order to make that happen? (Additional sleep? that bleary-eyed early morning Facebook session?)
  8. Tell people. Every December my writing group would get together for a Christmas luncheon, and we would go around the table and share our writing goals for the coming year. Stating our goals aloud in the company of trusted friends was powerful. We are communal creatures—only the most disciplined among us can make a major life change without any support, encouragement or accountability from friends and family. If you’re one of those rocks or islands that Simon and Garfunkel sang about, congratulations. If you’re like the rest of us, tweet or Facebook your goals. Blog about them. Tell a friend. Heck, tell me in the comments—I will cheer you on!
  9. Take two steps, not just one. According to the Journal of Consumer Research, people who take only one step toward an exercise or weight-loss regimen (like joining a gym) were more likely to engage in activities that were counterproductive (like bingeing on brownies). Meanwhile, their peers who took a follow-up step (working out right after joining the gym) were more likely to stick with their plan. So while Lao Tzu is right that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, don’t neglect the second step either.
  10. Focus on systems, not goals. I love this reflection from James Clear, in which he talks about the process as opposed to the destination: "I’ve found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress... Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win." For example, the one year I set a mileage goal for running (1,000 miles) I got injured. Coincidence? Perhaps. But since then I've adjusted my approach and set different kinds of intentions: to run three times a week and to participate in various races along the way. In James Clear's parlance, those are actually systems I'm putting in place rather than goals. I suspect they will result in a great end-of-year total mileage, but if they don't, the journey still took me to great places, and that's more important.

Do you have intentions or hopes for 2017? I'd love to hear.

Image is from elycefeliz on Flickr, used through a creative commons license.

The Five-Minute Journal, Tweaked

8335463864_9e91c56724_z A few months ago I wrote about a new practice I've been doing--a morning journaling exercise that takes about five minutes. It's been a great way to center the day.

Among other things, the practice involves listing three things that would make the day fruitful. I wrote: "Most of us have way more than three things on our daily to-do list, so it helps to be clear on the most essential items."

Then yesterday I read a lovely reflection on the Storyline blog:

At the end of every day, no matter how busy I’d been, there were always projects unfinished, emails unanswered, and household chores left undone. I hadn’t done it all, so I felt like I hadn’t done enough.

And it’s only a short leap in your heart from “I never do enough” to “I’m not enough.”

I tried making really thorough to-do lists, but that just gave me a super detailed record of all the things I wasn’t getting to. I would not call that helpful.

So the author created an Enough List: three things that are enough for the day. "They don’t have to be life-changing things, they just have to be the things that are most important to me today. When I’ve done those three things, I’ve done enough." She may do more than three things, but those extra things get to be gravy. And if she doesn't get to the three things, there's grace.

I like that framing even better! Enough is such a gracious word.

So here's the improved version of my morning journal:

Three things for which I’m grateful: 1. 2. 3.

My Enough List for the day: 1. 2. 3.

An affirmation: 

I’m curious about: And the evening practice:

Three things to celebrate about the day: 1. 2. 3.

One thing I could have done better:

Happy journaling!

Image is "Journaling" by Seth Barber, from Flickr via Creative Commons license

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Nine Ways to Make New Year's Resolutions Stick

An update from a previous post. e2bea3ef389032a3b8df0afe7f7999c8Resolutions get a bad rap. There’s a lot of guilt in play, as people feel like they should make them. Other people make them and quickly break them: more guilt. Still other folks genuinely want to follow through but don’t know how.

As for me, I love looking back and looking forward. And I make resolutions, though I call them something else (see below). Whether I fulfill them or not is really secondary. This year I've decided to tackle this Ultimate Reading Challenge. And I'm setting a goal to run 1,000 miles in 2015. That's about 20 miles a week, and feels ambitious but doable, since I'm running a half marathon in March and the Marine Corps Marathon in October. Training for those two races should put me at 750 easily, unless something happens.

And things do happen. Whether I achieve those goals or not, setting them is the important part for me. It points me in the direction I want to go.

Still, if you want to make some New Year's goals stick, here are some tips that have worked for me and other people I know:

  1. Set an intention instead. Resolutions have always felt too brittle for me. (After all, when we don’t follow through, we say we broke them.) Intentions are more flexible. Listen to the difference between “I resolve” and “I set the intent.” The former feels like one of Harry Potter’s Unbreakable Vows; the latter points you in a worthwhile direction. Maybe you need the force of the former, but I like the latter because it can bend as our lives shift. And we can set intentions again and again. There’s a reason people in 12 step programs take things one day at a time.
  2. Make it a story. Most resolutions are vague goals that lack context. Donald Miller suggests we come up with stories instead. Stories are compelling, and they take us somewhere. According to Miller’s definition, a story involves a character who wants something and overcomes obstacles to get it. What could be a better framework for a New Year’s improvement project? “Lose weight” is a worthy goal, but without a concrete story to hang it on, it’s too easy to give up. So instead of getting in shape, a story-based resolution might be to complete a road race or do a big hike with friends.
  3. Explore the 5 W’s. In ninth grade journalism class I learned the basics of a news story: Who, What, When, Where, and Why. (Also How.) If you want your resolutions to stick, you need to spend some time with these questions. So you want to cook at home more instead of eating out. Who will support you in this effort, and whom will be impacted by this lifestyle change? What will you do to make this happen? When will you plan, shop and cook? Where will this happen—do you need to de-clutter the kitchen? stock the pantry? And most importantly, Why is it important that you do this? [Update: another way to look at this is to focus not on making goals, but on refining your systems.]
  4. Take things monthly. Gretchen Rubin is a pioneer of this approach. Her book The Happiness Project chronicles a year-long self-improvement project with a different emphasis each month (money, home, family, etc.). Why not pick something modest to work on in January? Then on January 31 you get to celebrate your success (or shrug off your failure) and move on to something new in February.
  5. Pick a word. Many of my pastor friends hand out stars with words on them to their congregations on Epiphany Sunday—I’ve done it myself. These words become a prayer or meditation focus. For folks who find self-reflection tedious, there’s something serendipitous about being given a word to live with for a whole year. (My 2014 word was compassion.)
  6. Let the resolution grow out of a deeper reflection. Ideally, a resolution, intention, or story will grow out of a period of reflecting on the year to come. In other words, don’t go for the same knee-jerk resolution you pick every year—it may not fit your life right now. If you’re about to move across country or get a promotion at work, it’s probably not the right time to take on a new hobby or join that CrossFit class. Or because of those changes, it may be the perfect time to take care of yourself. But the point is, your resolution needs to grow out of a realistic assessment of the year to come. I’ve been using this tool to say goodbye to 2014 and hello to 2015, but there are tons of tools like this on the Internet.
  7. Build in some No with your Yes. I’m convinced that a lot of resolutions fail because people add on habits or practices without taking other things away. So you want to spend 20 minutes each morning in prayer or meditation. OK… but what are you willing to give up in order to make that happen? (Additional sleep? that bleary-eyed early morning Facebook session?)
  8. Tell people. Every December writing group would together for a Christmas luncheon, and we would go around the table and share our writing goals for the coming year. Stating our goals aloud in the company of trusted friends was powerful. We are communal creatures—only the most disciplined among us can make a major life change without any support, encouragement or accountability from friends and family. If you’re one of those rocks or islands that Simon and Garfunkel sang about, congratulations. If you’re like the rest of us, tweet or Facebook your goals. Blog about them. Tell a friend. Heck, tell me in the comments—I will cheer you on!
  9. Take two steps, not just one. This one came from a recent issue of Runners World. According to the Journal of Consumer Research, people who take only one step toward an exercise or weight-loss regimen (like joining a gym) were more likely to engage in activities that were counterproductive (like bingeing on brownies). Meanwhile, their peers who took a follow-up step (working out right after joining the gym) were more likely to stick with their plan. So while Lao Tzu is right that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, don't neglect the second step either.

What are your hopes for 2015? If you're not sure where to start thinking, check out my post from earlier this week, What Will Be in 2015?

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Image source

What Will Be in 2015?

The week of New Year's is one of my favorites of the year. The run-up to Christmas is over but schedules aren't quite back to normal, so things are quieter, more relaxed. The kids are out of school (though they've been driving me a tidge crazy at times). And my birthday so close to New Year's invites reflection and taking stock. I love the idea of the new year being a clean slate. I need that every year. (I need it more often than that, actually---thank heaven for the weekly prayer of confession in worship, when we let go of the brokenness and ask that it be healed and renewed.)

As I think about what 2015 might bring to birth in my life, the following video came my way, "Acorn" by Madeline Sharafian. I love the story that's told in just 4 beautiful minutes. I'm touched by this little acorn's attempt to fulfill its destiny of "acornness," yet in its own unique way. That is our human calling, is it not? I heard Jesuit priest and writer James Martin tell Krista Tippett this week:

As [Thomas] Merton said, for me to be a saint means to be myself. ...I remember in the novitiate, there was a young novice who would get up in the morning at 6:30 and pray all the time. And I thought well, gee, to be holy, I guess I have to do that. So I'd get up and I'd pray, and I was falling asleep all the time. And then there was another novice who was super quiet, so I thought oh I have to be really quiet, and diffident. And, sort of soft spoken. And my spiritual director said to me, what's wrong with you? You're so quiet. I said, well, so-and-so's quiet. And he's really holy. And he said, you know, in order to become holy, you don't become someone else. You just become yourself.

Whether you're a resolution/intention-maker like me or not, I invite you to watch this in with a seeker's heart and consider the hard work of transformation and the grace at play as well. What might 2015 hold for you?

http://vimeo.com/86362805

As the artist says in her description: "Growing up is hard, but it's also beautiful. We can do it!" Indeed.

When Life is Stressful... Or, A Chair Is Not Just a Chair

photo We're experiencing some moderate upheaval in the Dana house.

My husband's company was recently acquired by a firm in California. This has meant some exciting opportunities in the works, but also a lot of a travel.

Like, Monday-Friday travel.

Like, every week travel.

Like, ten days in Bangalore this spring travel.

We know that things will settle down once the initial process of merging two corporate cultures is complete. There will still be business trips, just not every single week. In the meantime, it's something we have to make it through as best we can.

I do a fair amount of travel myself, often to lead conferences and retreats and things, and while I absolutely love it, it can be hard to practice self-care while on the road. It's hard to eat well, find time to exercise, and get good sleep (especially in a different time zone). Then you come home to various chores and responsibilities that have piled up. Over the last few weeks, the home projects (and there are many that need to happen around here) have ground to an utter halt. Not to mention the needs of children who missed you and held it together in your absence but who now want to spend every moment with you. And/or who let loose with all kinds of unpleasant behaviors now that there are two parents to absorb the very big feelings.

It's a stressful time in general... and then I worry about Robert's stress level on top of my own. Yes, I feel sympathy stress.

But there's this funny thing that I've noticed over the past few weeks that calms my worries and tells me that everything's going to be OK. You see, Robert recently got a fish tank, after many years of wanting one. He was smart about it---he knows that our life isn't set up for a fiddly hobby, so he stocked it with fish that are easy to care for, bought a couple of automatic feeders, and so forth. I've always been pretty 'meh' about fish, but we've all enjoyed having these little creatures in our family room/kitchen. Frederica is a pearl gourami and is the queen of the fish tank. We think she's brilliant. The rasboras have distinct personalities; the scrappy guy is named Joe Pesci and enjoys bugging the other fish. The cory cats are determined to breed, but someone keeps eating the eggs.

Anyway, the image that cheers and comforts me is not the fish tank, exactly. It's one of the kitchen chairs, pulled out from under the table and sitting facing the fish tank. I will come down in the morning, after Robert's gone to work or left for an early-morning flight, and I will see that chair facing the fish tank. It makes me smile. The chair means that, before heading out in the morning (or sometimes before coming upstairs to bed), he sat down for a few minutes and watched the fish.

A fish tank is like an organic lava lamp. It's hard to feel stress when watching fish.

The thing is, I have no idea whether he sat there for ten seconds or ten minutes. But it doesn't really matter. What matters is the intention. What matters is taking the time to pull the chair around to the aquarium, to sit, and to watch.

Your life may be stressful right now. Time for rest and recreation may be hard to come by. But I hope you've got something like a chair and a fish tank. It can make a big difference.

~

Oh hey... a Blue Room email is going out soon! Are you signed up?

Image: Fish and family room.

 

Eight Ways to Make New Year's Resolutions Stick

medium_80007118 This week marks the end of 2013, the beginning of 2014, and my 42nd birthday. (Yes, as of Thursday my age is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.)

What with the convergence of New Year's and my birthday, I've always been a fan of taking stock, looking forward, and making resolutions. Sometimes I make specific goals. (I've even kept one or two!) Other times I have vague resolution-ish thoughts but nothing concrete, and that's OK too.

Resolutions get a bad rap. There's a lot of guilt in play, as people feel like they should make them. Other people make them and quickly break them: more guilt. Still other folks genuinely want to follow through but don't know how.

Here are some tips that have worked for me and other people I know when making plans and hopes for the New Year:

  1. Set an intention instead. Resolutions have always felt too brittle for me. (After all, when we don't follow through, we say we broke them.) Intentions are more flexible. Listen to the difference between "I resolve" and "I set the intent." The former feels like one of Harry Potter's Unbreakable Vows; the latter points you in a worthwhile direction. Maybe you need the force of the former, but I like the latter because it can bend as our lives shift. And we can set intentions again and again. There's a reason people in 12 step programs take things one day at a time.
  2. Make it a story. Most resolutions are vague goals that lack context. Donald Miller suggests we come up with stories instead. Stories are compelling, and they take us somewhere. According to Miller's definition, a story involves a character who wants something and overcomes obstacles to get it. What could be a better framework for a New Year's improvement project? "Lose weight" is a worthy goal, but without a concrete story to hang it on, it's too easy to give up. So instead of getting in shape, a story-based resolution might be to complete a road race or do a big hike with friends.
  3. Explore the 5 W's. In ninth grade journalism class I learned the basics of a news story: Who, What, When, Where, and Why. (Also How.) If you want your resolutions to stick, you need to spend some time with these questions. So you want to cook at home more instead of eating out. Who will support you in this effort, and whom will be impacted by this lifestyle change? What will you do to make this happen? When will you plan, shop and cook? Where will this happen---do you need to de-clutter the kitchen? stock the pantry? And most importantly, Why is it important that you do this? [Update: another way to look at this is to focus not on making goals, but on refining your systems.]
  4. Take things monthly. Gretchen Rubin is a pioneer of this approach. Her book The Happiness Project chronicles a year-long self-improvement project with a different emphasis each month (money, home, family, etc.). Why not pick something modest to work on in January? Then on January 31 you get to celebrate your success (or shrug off your failure) and move on to something new in February.
  5. Pick a word. My friend Ruth Everhart chooses a word or phrase to guide her for the year. And many of my pastor friends hand out stars with words on them to their congregations on Epiphany Sunday---I've done it myself. These words become a prayer or meditation focus. For folks who find self-reflection tedious, there's something serendipitous about being given a word to live with for a whole year. (My 2013 word was breathe.)
  6. Let the resolution grow out of a deeper reflection. Ideally, a resolution, intention, or story will grow out of a period of reflecting on the year to come. In other words, don't go for the same knee-jerk resolution you pick every year---it may not fit your life right now. If you're about to move across country or get a promotion at work, it's probably not the right time to take on a new hobby or join that CrossFit class. Or because of those changes, it may be the perfect time to take care of yoursef. But the point is, your resolution needs to grow out of a realistic assessment of the year to come. I've been using this tool to say goodbye to 2013 and hello to 2014, but there are tons of tools like this on the Internet.
  7. Build in some No with your Yes. I'm convinced that a lot of resolutions fail because people add on habits or practices without taking other things away. So you want to spend 20 minutes each morning in prayer or meditation. OK... but what are you willing to give up in order to make that happen? (Additional sleep? that bleary-eyed early morning Facebook session?)
  8. Tell people. Every December my Writing Revs get together for a Christmas luncheon, and we always go around the table and share our writing goals for the coming year. Stating our goals aloud in the company of trusted friends is powerful. We are communal creatures---only the most disciplined among us can make a major life change without any support, encouragement or accountability from friends and family. If you're one of those rocks or islands that Simon and Garfunkel sang about, congratulations. If you're like the rest of us, tweet or Facebook your goals. Blog about them. Tell a friend. Heck, tell me in the comments---I will cheer you on!

~

One of my resolutions in 2014 is to make better use of my email list---sign up here to receive a free preview of my next book before it is released, information about a Lent online retreat, and other goodies.

~

photo credit: Kanko* via photopin cc . I'm told the image says "I wish you a Happy New Year". And I do.

Friday Link Love: Flying Houses, Being a Mystic, and Mighty Girls... One of Whom with Toilet Covers on Her Head

First, if you haven't already heard me shouting from the rooftops about it, here is my interview about Sabbath in the Suburbs on Huffington Post Books. Another note. I share links to interesting, inspiring, curious content all week long at my Facebook page. Feel free to subscribe to the public updates, even if we're not FB friends!

Lots of images in Link Love this week, and a few meaty quotes. Onward...

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Flying Houses by Laurent Cherere -- Colossal

Wonderful. Like something out of Roald Dahl:

laurent-2

laurent-4

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Top Read-Aloud Books Starring Mighty Girls -- A Mighty Girl

This is one I shared on Facebook. Great list! I want to read them all.

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Christian Wiman on Faith and Language -- Andrew Sullivan

Another one I shared earlier this week, but dang, I like it:

To have faith in a religion, any religion, is to accept at some primary level that its particular language of words and symbols says something true about reality. This doesn't mean that the words and symbols are reality (that's fundamentalism), nor that you will ever master those words and symbols well enough to regard reality as some fixed thing. What it does mean, though, is that you can 'no more be religious in general than [you] can speak language in general' (George Lindbeck), and that the only way to deepen your knowledge and experience of ultimate divinity is to deepen your knowledge and experience of the all-too-temporal symbols and language of a particular religion. Lindbeck would go so far as to say that your religion of origin has such a bone-deep hold on you that, as with a native language, it's your only hope for true religious fluency. I wouldn't go that far, but I would say that one has to submit to symbols and language that may be inadequate in order to have those inadequacies transcended.

This is true of poetry, too: I don't think you can spend your whole life questioning whether language can represent reality. At some point, you have to believe that the inadequacies of words you use will be transcended by the faith with which you use them. You have to believe that poetry has some reach into reality itself, or you have to go silent. - Christian Wiman, "Notes on Poetry and Religion," from Ambition and Survival: Becoming a Poet.

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Stoic, Addict, Mystic -- Andrew Sullivan

Another one posted on The Dish this week:

We are rarely presented with an authentically fulfilling trajectory for our desires... If we are created for infinite satisfaction, we really only have three choices about what to do with our desire in this life: We will become either a stoic, an addict, or a mystic. The stoic squelches desire out of fear, while the addict attempts to satisfy his desire for infinity with finite things, which, of course, can’t satisfy. That’s why the addict wants more and more and more. The mystic, on the other hand — in the Christian sense of the term — is the one who is learning how to direct his desire for infinity toward infinity," - Christopher West, whose new book is Fill These Hearts.

For infinity, toward infinity. Nice.

Winners of the 2012 National Geographic Photo Contest -- National Geographic

A cat picture won! Sort of. Go to the link to see the grand prize winner, as well as all the other top picks. My favorite in the "people" category:

H6yMi6fUB_1JR964xxG8RxsYArlNNn1lR5PWutchIb-0b1wahCLwPmHficO2saD0RkzVCatVnWrRPg

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Unleash Your Unconscious: How Switching Tasks Maximizes Creative Thinking -- 99U

Incubation breaks boosted creative performance, but only when the time was spent engaged in a different kind of mental activity. Participants who in the break switched from verbal to spatial, or from spatial to verbal, excelled when they returned to their main task – in terms of the number and quality of their solutions. The change in focus freed up their unconscious to spend the incubation period tackling the main challenge.

Highly recommend running, for people with the knees for it.

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Embracing Mystery in the New Year: Ten Essential Practices -- Christian Valters Paintner

Follow the thread. Each of us has a unique unfolding story and call in this world. We don't "figure this out" but rather we allow the story to emerge in its own time, tending the symbols and synchronicities that guide us along. Trust in what you love. Following the thread is essentially about cultivating a deep trust in what you love. What are the things that make your heart beat loudly, no matter how at odds they feel with your current life (and perhaps especially so)? Make some room this year to honor what brings you alive.

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Airplane Lavatory Self-Portraits -- Sad and Useless

h/t Keith Snyder.

Nina Katchadourian whiles away long plane journeys by locking herself in the lavatory and pretending to be a 15th century Dutch painting. The project began spontaneously on a flight in March 2010 and is ongoing…

I do think about the line forming outside the door while she's doing this, but:

lav3

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Have a wonderful weekend!

Henry Miller's "Happiness Project"

I was inspired by Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project to develop my own personal commandments two years ago. (Hers are in the sidebar of her website and include things like "do it now" and "be polite and be fair.") It was a useful exercise... though it also felt very self-helpish. But it turns out other people were developing personal commandments way before the personal development craze of the 1980s and beyond. Benjamin Franklin, for one. Here are Henry Miller's, which I ran across last week on the Improvised Life website:

I especially like #3 and #7, and am intrigued by #6. What does that mean to you?

For what it's worth, here are mine, which I call intentions.

  1. Live MaryAnn’s story.
  2. Love God * Love Others * Love Yourself.
  3. If it’s not working, reframe it.
  4. Spend it all.
  5. Practice “yes-and.”
  6. Do small things with great love.
  7. Laugh, sing, breathe.
  8. Love what is.
  9. Show up * listen * tell the truth * let go.
  10. Hold fast to what is good.
  11. Today is their childhood.
  12. Make friends with time.

Do you have personal commandments, guiding principles, or intentions? I would love to hear them and/or reasons why such statements are not meaningful or helpful for you.

Friday Link Love

I still want to know your greatest tech challenge, but here are some other things to ponder:

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"53" by e.e. cummings

Another great manifesto for 2012:

may my mind stroll about hungry and fearless and thirsty and supple for even if it's sunday may i be wrong for whenever men are right they are not young

More at the link.

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Walker Percy Interviews Himself -- Andrew Sullivan

This is from Christmas Day and I am still going back to it. There's an impertinence and a wild sort of reverence here:

Q: Would you exclude, for example, scientific humanism as a rational and honorable alternative [to faith]?

A: Yes.

Q: Why?

A: It’s not good enough.

Q: Why not?

A: This life is too much trouble, far too strange, to arrive at the end of it and then to be asked what you make of it and have to answer “Scientific humanism.” That won’t do. A poor show. Life is a mystery, love is a delight. Therefore I take it as axiomatic that one should settle for nothing less than the infinite mystery and the infinite delight, i.e., God. In fact I demand it. I refuse to settle for anything less. I don’t see why anyone should settle for less than Jacob, who actually grabbed aholt of God and would not let go until God identified himself and blessed him.

Q: Grabbed aholt?

A: A Louisiana expression.

~

How Music Works in Worship -- Troy Bronsink

Another perceptive offering from Troy.

~

And now, from the Department of Publicity:

Church folks, don't forget the Lent Devotional Guide I wrote for Chalice Press. Also available in e-format! Unfortunately, there aren't samples available online, but if you'd like a free sample of the first few entries, e-mail maryannmcdana at gmail dot com.

Also, the NEXT Church 2012 conference is going to be great. I'm leading a workshop called "Agile Church: Rethinking Congregational Structures," but there are a lot of other reasons to come (including the aforementioned Troy). Hope to see you in Dallas.